


Sick in the head

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-16
Updated: 2010-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:17:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They all decide to fake a mental illness for a day, except they’re a bit unclear on what counts.<br/>Warning: Me tastelessly making fun of mental illness, and also a non-graphic blowjob</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick in the head

This is what just happened, that you don’t need to see (I didn’t write) because it’s not S/T:  
The whole band has decided to have a mental illness for a day, because they watched something on TV that made it sound interesting. (And because weird crap like that is just what they do.) They’ve all been picking what’s “wrong with them”, and Charles comes by and catches the last of it.  
There, you’re all caught up now.

 

Charles passed the doorway, then backed up and went into the room. When they were all in deep discussion like that, nothing good ever came of it.  
Nathan pointed. “Skwisgaar, go.”  
“I tinks I ams going to be de kleptomaniacs.”  
“Dude, I think ya mean a _nymphomaniac_. Ya know, tha ones thet have sex all tha time.”  
“No, I already does dat, I means de ones who steals tings.”  
Okay, whatever. Nobody really cared.

Toki was the last one, but he’d thought of what he was going to be. “I’s going to be a narcoleptics! I already does that, but I don’ts care.”  
Charles felt the need to correct him. “Toki, there’s a difference between narcolepsy and a diabetic coma.”  
“Are yous a doctor?!” Uh-oh, Toki was into the candy again.  
“No I’m not, but it’s just common sense. You’re diabetic, not narcoleptic.”  
“Then yous don’ts know anything! I’s going to takes a fucking nap.”

Grabbing his bottle (oh boy, candy _and_ drinking), Toki left the room. He’d gotten pretty familiar with the signs of impending coma, and it was best to go to bed so he didn’t wake up all stiff and uncomfortable.  
Also, he’d recently discovered schnapps. (He would have discovered it before, but it was considered too weak and girly by the rest of the guys.) Schnapps was like drinking candy, candy that got you drunk. What could possibly be better?  
Laying on his bed, he realized he’d forgotten his candy. But that was okay, he had half his bottle left.  
And then he passed out/ went into a diabetic coma/ whatever.

Shortly afterwards, Skwisgaar snuck into Toki’s room and stole his pants.  
He’d been going around stealing little things from everyone, but it wasn’t nearly as much fun as he’d though it would be. Still, he’d picked this illness so he was just going to have to steal.  
Toki didn’t even wake up, but it was still a lot more fun than taking Nathan’s reading glasses or Pickles’ bong.  
He wondered what else he could steal from Toki?  
It would be really funny (and fun) to steal his virginity, but he knew damn well that Toki was no virgin. But he had an idea...

Toki woke up to the surprise of Skwisgaar sucking his dick. “Skwisgaar?! What’s you doing?”  
Pausing in his work, Skwisgaar looked up. “Stealings.”  
“You means you wants to steals my...” He was in no shape to think clearly. Toki grabbed for his bottle, getting it on the second try and finishing it in one long drink. “Okay, goes on then.”  
With a shrug, Skwisgaar went back to work. This was taking longer than he’d expected, maybe he wasn’t doing it quite right? Looking up again, he realized that Toki had passed back out.  
“Shits. Dis ams going to takes forever, I gives up. I picks a stupid fuckings illness.”  
He got up and went to look for something else to steal instead.


End file.
